It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. GS cookie season (2 and 3), daily band practices (1), band competition (1), speech (4), pre K life (4), long days for The Mr. I feel like I haven’t been home in like a week, like for serious. I think this is the longest I’ve sat down without being asleep in forever (y’all know I need my sleep). My mom brain is all over the place.
So I’m finishing my first term of college, 8 whole weeks. This is HUGE for me to commit to anything for this long haha! (Let’s not talk about my 15 year wedding anniversary next Thursday, EEK!). This was such a struggle for me. I have this block on school. I dropped out of high school (go me!) at 16. Didn’t get my GED until 2006 (7 years later). I’ve enrolled for school more times than I can count, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. This block has not gone away, even through seeing that I am actually more than capable of doing it.
I’m here writing trying to work it out. Because guess what I need to get done?!?!?!?! DING DING DING……….. WRITING!!!!!! It’s this totally probably not difficult essay, talking about someone else’s piece (mine is an Amy Tan article. Who doesn’t looovvee Amy Tan?) So for 7 weeks I’ve been reading. Taking notes. Searching for points. Writing my thesis. Writing how it makes me feel. What it makes me think about. Over. And over. And over. Ad freaking nauseam. At this point I am bored with it, and on over load at the same time. I have my base line written out (10 times). I understand it. I just can’t write the MF paper! I feel like I need to complain and get it out of my system haha I know I’m a stubborn PITA (it’s been medically proven). Just blah blah blah.
Other things I would rather be doing; having my Friday evening mommy juice, continuing my Ikea binge, rewatching any number of things on Netflix, eating the meatballs that are in the oven, giving unmedicated child birth, stabbing myself in the eye. I guess that’s as far as I’m willing to go haha I was going to say something about the Orange One, but I think that’s taking it too far. Unless it includes firecrackers dropped in pants, or punching in the jugular.
Uncarergoricaly for me, I do not feel any better or more grounded after blathering on about this. Ah, well! There is always next time 🙂